From Dust to dust
by That dragon From Earth
Summary: this is my small intro to a massive story of love and loss i experienced irl on a website called Cloudsdale, a internet chat based roleplaying site, where you talk to other Bronies and Pegasisters alike. it is very addicting and this story is to take precisely 5 months, and tell me if i must change the rating from T, because i mention a few sexual things but not complete detail.


**Hello all...perhaps this isnt a good story, perhaps it is, but its an intro. a prequel if you will. i encourage any of you to go to a website called Cloudsdale. its one of the best places that i have devoted myself to, im going on 6 months. there is a iOS app for it and windows app as well. pc always works tho, and its very addicting. this is a story of my Oc in a roleplay/true love i had in real life over all of this...dont ask how or why. but it happened. lets read it, shall we?...**

Days of The First

"Now or never, or forever now...never forget, always remember"

(Dust's journal, reflections)

(Dust) well...to get this right, I thought I oughta start from the beginning. I needed to anyway right? Heh, well here I go...  
A long time ago, after the seven year war I assisted in fighting against the voices of tyranny and evil, defending Equestria, I had no home, and my battle brothers, the ones that survived with me at least, moved on and continued to press their fight against evil. I was one of a few that retired, because I didn't want to spend my life fighting, watching friends die. During the war, I saw nothing but suffering, pain, death and battle. Nothing more or less, than a struggle to survive in the fight for your homeland.  
Well, I explored for a while...visited my...well, the cemetery at least...and went back to my hometown, which was rebuilt, and restored from the forces of my mother. I am still working a cure for her, and I hope very well I can give it, because I love her, she is important to me...well, I came and went. An outcast in the peaceful world a veteran wishes for. I didn't have a single thing but the funds I received for fighting for Equestria.  
Well, in the last year and a half, during this time, something happened, an here is where the real story begins...  
I found my way through Everfree, and found a castle...it was a pristine new and beautiful looking home. Well, I stumbled into it (the cloud) and met the mare who would become the interest and prime goal of my life. Celestia, I had located the Princess of Equestria by mere chance, and I got to meet her. She was kind and very caring to meet me, especially a war hero. So I decided, with nothing, to offer my loyalty to her as a guard. Nothing more or less. She then referred to me as "Sir Guard" for some reason. I was then stunned to see that she had began to become extremely intimate and sexual with a mare that seemed more like a visitor rather than a victim. Her name was Novella, and I believe she is rather a nice pony I see every now and again (nowadays at least) well, I stood guard and answered the loyalty I pledged to Celestia, and over time... She began to ask me to do sexual things to her, and I reluctantly obeyed, figuring that it wouldn't become personal. But some part of me was attracted to her. She was quite...well to be latent about it...sexy...I liked it And it was the first time being intimate with anypony in my life...well...I mean...it wasnt like we loved each other...yet..  
Well that happened...then later we learned that we both liked it...a lot...it was my first spark of love or her...  
Perhaps It wasnt meant to be, perhaps it was. Well the next day, as I said, she introduced me to her ssp...her special some pony. Her stallion friend...her l-love...well, I met him and he seemed pretty right for her. At the time I was still a loyal guard so I kept my mouth shut. Of course she may have known it too. Celestia...there may be a day you shall read this, and please just know that this is what I truly felt during theses days...  
Well, I stood guard by her for days, I helped her do "things" and still did occasional "favors" in any case, I slowly and unknowingly fell in love with her. Well, about a few weeks of my time there with her and her ssp, who was ironically Discord, the chaotic draqonequus. He was a soft hearted friend though, and he had no problem with me, in fact, we hung out and stuff, we talked and bonded like any other friend. Well, one day she wanted to speak to me. Alone. It was a little odd, and I was anxious, but complied with the request. She made all of her "pets" and guests leave the castle temporarily. And this told me it may be important. "But I'm just Dust" I told myself. Well, we spoke, and she told me she was pregnant. This was shocking, but it's all she said at the moment. So I figured that it may not be me...because when we spoke further, she said that discord was incapable of having children, and in the case of her telling me that, I figured it all out. Before I saw them...well, more like stood guard outside of their room, *heard* them having "fun". So I figured it wasn't my child, and severely hoped it wasn't. Unfortunately she told me it was.  
"I can feel your essence within the child..."  
She told me, she said it with a hint of the fact that she was scared too, and that she didn't want to let discord go over this. So we decided that we would tell him together. But something happened that may change my life, and it was that she fell down a set of stairs while on a morning walk through canterlot...she confirmed with nurse RedHeart that the young one was dead. This hit me, she was sad, I didn't think it was for me or Discord...she was sad because it broke her heart, having been with me intimately, and her ssp not knowing. What she told me was tht it was right before she met him, and that /that/ was the reason it happened. I trust her, she is too caring to cheat on somepony, especially if she is the Princess of Equestria. Well, I thought, in my heart, that I didn't want to see her this way, I would be the better stallion, and grant her the child back, and letting her love Discord, and moving on with my life. So it seemed. Well I had seven soul gems at the time, so I decided, as I have a few times before, to sacrifice one to save her child, and give it mortality. I asked her if I could do it, having been a surgeon in the battlefield for quite some time in my life, I thought it would be what I have to offer, as a loyal guard, and a good friend. He denied my offer but I persisted, and she allowed it in the end.  
Well, this was complicated, first I had to do the surgery to get to the infant and apply the soul gem and I did it. It is a time consuming spell to cast, the purpose of which I was to disconnect the bond of one of the gems from my own, very well protected soul, and reconnect it to the dying soul of this young infant, whom was given no chance to live. Plus, having known that it was my child, I needed to try, and I did. I was very successful, and I was proud to revive Celestia and tell her and Discord that it was to be a humble colt, who would grow as part of the royal family. They were so happy. They thanked me so much, and they were so encouraged to be happy together. Celestia gave me a look that made my heart warm up, it was a blush and a soft "thank you..." And Discord was thrilled. They wanted to reward me, make me rich, make me into a prince. I kindly turned down the offer, and wanted to stay a guard. They respected me. And I could never be more proud of myself. "I literally just saved the Princess's child..." It was stunning, and it took a lot to hold in my happiness.  
Well, At that, we lived normally, Celestia enjoyed my company more than before and Discord was less uneasy about me being with her and at her side nearly all day everyday. But there was still a catch, we didn't want to tell him...not yet, because he had a few family issues, which drove him slightly insane and suicidal. We comforted him. Celestia and I. Although we exchanged looks, and knew it would be impossible to tell him, we did, but at a later time.  
When we told him, she tried to explain that she needed to have care for the young one when it grows. I was evidently frightful, he showed such anger toward me, felt so betrayed, sad, lost and full of contempt. Celestia was better than I at trying to explain...at least he found forgiveness. Today we are very good friends. But I couldn't say the same for Celestia...  
Well after Discord was over Celestia, whom she still considered close, I kept the idea of "wow, I have a chance with her now!" Out of my head. I felt terrible for Discord. We had agreed to make him the Godfather. Which made him happier. he was "chaotic" about a lot of things and became emotionally weak. I guess it hit him harder than I thought. Well, he moved on nonetheless. So...I proceeded to stay at Celestia's side. She was not only the mare of my dreams, she was important, because I have now started a family with her. I was a guard, and a caregiver, perhaps even a nurse. I used my doctor skills to help her through pregnancy. Well, she actually had polymorphical abilities, she could, in other words, take different physical form. This was, to me, kinda odd...because we were intimate when she did this, and although it felt amazing, she said it was for the best due to her pregnancy. I guess it wast bad, I mean, hell, she turned into different mares, and was still sexy as hell. It became a tension over a bit of time...because on top if polymorphing, she would still manage sex with her "pets" and get back to me. Listen, reader if you think this is wrong, hold it in for a second. She is Celestia, a Princess that's simply horny, in any case, she's referred to Molestia for it. And that was a achievement to me...I made the princess of Equestria /fall in love.../  
Well, that tension, was me sort of buckling under the pressure, because it was still "her" inside, and I knew it. But she was Celestia...who had a simple lust...and liked to make the ones she considered pets feel nice once in a while...and saves the passionate love for me...her "Sir Guard"...or "Dusty" which she easily came up with, a name she would use to be "girly" or teasing to me. Well, I didn't mind... I understood her, and didn't mind what she did. Well, more time passed and it came down to a narrow part of my life where I knew I had to do something. Something like...propose...  
As a matter of fact, my friends were asking me when I would do it...I said soon and I finally did it when my fried blurted out:  
"Don't you have something to say Dusty?"  
-that was a pet and friend of mine,'and her name was Wildfire...she was rather emotional, and wasnt the type for secrets, and whatnot. Well, the time came, for I felt happy with her, happy for everything, my expression usually shows that of a silent nonsocial war hero. But inside, i was so happy. So I asked her, and I wrote a poem that I hoped to be longer, no thanks to Wildfire. I asked her to marry me afterwards...she said through her tears of joy and surprise "yes..." And nearly stuttered. I saw her, kissed her, and loved her. We where so happy that day...so happy it was...unbearable...we made love that night...we were just ultimately happy...and I never have had my heart beat feel so nice, so warm, so "fuzzy" inside...it was the greatest moment of my life...  
But then, not but a day or two later. It happened. My..mistake...well, I better come out with it. Reader, read carefully...  
She was happily introducing a new member to the group of "pets" and on the first day, "initiation" is sex with Celestia. Of course I was there, doing my care and duties, as guard and "nurse" for her. She talked to me and asked me to join her...the new "pet" was a stallion, and it was to e a threesome. Just recently we have been having a few issues about her and her "pets" and to this day, I now understand how to separate sexual desire from passionate and loving sex. Well, I kindly said no and said for her to do as she pleased. She asked the newbie to leave and she asked me why. I said very clearly that it would feel a little weird...doing that to my lover while some other stallion does the same thing to her not but a few feet from me. She didn't understand, and she took that as me wanting her for myself, which was definitely not the case at all, and I tried to drop it, but we both wouldn't stop trying to prove our points. Well, it came down to the very first amount of hatred I had for her, and I blurted out loud something that would change my life forever. I ended up saying that me meeting her was accident, and that our child was a mistake that wasnt meant to be...a "fuckup" I said. That killed her and she left on the spot, I instantly wanted to take it back and just talk to her and apologize. I tried my hardest to win her back. I failed. My life destroyed, sad, pathetic, and foolish. I was none other that a jerk, a loser asshole that should have just dropped it. I was sad, remorseful, destroyed, angry, and mostly dead inside. Just...dead...with nothing. I was an outcast, for all the friends I had met after her hated me. It took many weeks. Many to heal and come out of the ashes. In that time however, I was depressed, I wanted to die. I wanted to suffer my fallen brothers' fates...I felt like I should never have existed and thought I needed to end it. But I couldn't, I shattered four soul gems in loss and detestation over her. Three left still gave me immortality and a very small chance to die easily, which made it very hard and much worse. I guess I moved on. But inside I won't ever be the same. Celestia and I talk every now and then, she had our child and we share custody. But now...now she has a family, and a new love. I'm...happy for her, but I turned down her request of my return. Seeing her hurts...hearing her soft caring voice...made it worse, and seeing her kiss another the same way we kissed makes it all the more devastating inside. So I press on, and I keep my heart as confident as I can. I have met and loved and learned my lesson...I probably will never be able to forgive myself for what I said...it is too hard.  
And so I walk my lonesome road. I left the castle I stumbled upon, and listened to it as it disappeared from me, and didn't dare to look back. It already hurts enough as it is. Today, I continue my research for The Cure for mom...perhaps I shall finish soon. Celestia if you find this journal...I'm sorry for everything. I love you, and I wish I didn't do what I did. It hurt us both, and I know it may not mean a lot but I really do hope you are happier today...my son..if it is you reading this...learn from it... That's all...I have to tell you...I'm sorry...  
I never forget my friends, I always remember the good things I had. I now must end this entry, I shall write in it another day...well, this is Dust, signing off

Dust  
6/12/13

**i dont own Characters From mlp, all rights resereved and blabla. tell me if there are typos or errors, and plz review... i am Dust, and this is only a journal entry of the story i shall prepare and explain to you. its your choice tho, so show me in the reviews. /)^3^(\**


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